The only thing i really want to understand is ,why i am the way i am?I understand the legends(I've done enough research to understand),I've read just about all the scientific,or pseudo-science,papers on it.But i still don't understand why it has to be me.
According to the legends,it skips generations.My dad(not like i knew anything about him,he left right after he found out i was a boy)wasn't a werewolf,but my grandfather was.He went insane after he lashed out on my grandmother and killed himself.He ,like in the legend, drove a stake through his heart.It only works,though,when it forced through with the strength of a werewolf.Or something stronger.But besides that,why couldn't it have skipped my grandfather and went to my dad?I have to go through everything on my own.I have to learn how to phase back on my own(lets just say I was stuck for about a week after my first and only girlfriend broke up with me),how to calm down my emotions to a dull pain in my head.
I'll never understand but I just hope i can finally get close to someone enough to have them help me with this.I just wish someone would love me enough to not care what I am...............................
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Part 2 :
But what I want, I don’t always get. No matter what I do , girls just wont stay away. It just seem to be something about me that pulls them to me even when I don’t want them to be. I cant just be blunt about why they cant be around me because honestly what girl would believe you if I said ,”Hey. I really like you, but I’m a werewolf and I’m afraid I would hurt you. so you should get a restraining order against me and you’ll be fine. It was nice knowing you.” seriously. I mean don’t get me wrong, I really like some girls and I would really like to get closer to them but. Yeah the whole werewolf kind of gets in the way………..
Most people get it…well the people who know get it. O_0. There are just things I really wish I could do that most teenagers could do. Like hang out with normal friends, go to the movies, worry about tomorrows geometry test, be afraid of your parents finding out you were out super late that night last week. But having to suppress majority of your emotions to keep the jerk of a guy that sits next to you from losing his arm. And probably every other body part that he has. so yeah ,having all these powers comes with a lot of downfalls…………
Side note, I don’t know why I keep going back to this one night .I remember finding this person laying in the park and I thought he was already dead. so being the nice guy (well werewolf=[ )I am, I picked him up and laid him out in an alley. He was bleeding so much, I knew he was definitely dead. But when I set him down, he started moving and after a few minutes he opened his eyes. I felt sorry for him, knowing that in mere moments he was going to die. But for some reason I knew something else was coming into play. He started to stand and I noticed all the blood I felt was gone as if it had never been there. As he moved I understood something ,he was different like me. I tried to talk to him and realized I was still in werewolf form ,and leap away feeling retarded…………
But what I want, I don’t always get. No matter what I do , girls just wont stay away. It just seem to be something about me that pulls them to me even when I don’t want them to be. I cant just be blunt about why they cant be around me because honestly what girl would believe you if I said ,”Hey. I really like you, but I’m a werewolf and I’m afraid I would hurt you. so you should get a restraining order against me and you’ll be fine. It was nice knowing you.” seriously. I mean don’t get me wrong, I really like some girls and I would really like to get closer to them but. Yeah the whole werewolf kind of gets in the way………..
Most people get it…well the people who know get it. O_0. There are just things I really wish I could do that most teenagers could do. Like hang out with normal friends, go to the movies, worry about tomorrows geometry test, be afraid of your parents finding out you were out super late that night last week. But having to suppress majority of your emotions to keep the jerk of a guy that sits next to you from losing his arm. And probably every other body part that he has. so yeah ,having all these powers comes with a lot of downfalls…………
Side note, I don’t know why I keep going back to this one night .I remember finding this person laying in the park and I thought he was already dead. so being the nice guy (well werewolf=[ )I am, I picked him up and laid him out in an alley. He was bleeding so much, I knew he was definitely dead. But when I set him down, he started moving and after a few minutes he opened his eyes. I felt sorry for him, knowing that in mere moments he was going to die. But for some reason I knew something else was coming into play. He started to stand and I noticed all the blood I felt was gone as if it had never been there. As he moved I understood something ,he was different like me. I tried to talk to him and realized I was still in werewolf form ,and leap away feeling retarded…………
Monday, December 8, 2008
Waiting for your answer, you lost me to my emotions
Ferro:
That feeling of absolute and complete freedom is great. the release of that anger and other stronger emotions is almost a soothing curse. it’s that freedom that misconstrues everything. When you get the chance to understand that feeling you understand the problem. Knowing that if I ever fall in love, I could lose that person to my OTHER half. I’m sorry I’m just thinking out loud.
I’m Ferro. I’m not that hard stud of a guy all of my friends are. I’m that sweet guy every girl looks for but never notices. And I’m happy they don’t. you see ,just like my friends ,I’m a werewolf. not like the feral movie versions, but they are pretty close. Yes we change under extreme emotion. Yes we are not normal by any standards.
first off ,we are huge in size, muscle wise. I’m 5’10” and 185 pounds. I look like I’m 21 years old ,when in reality I’m only 16.I can run just as fast as an Olympic sprinter. I can jump higher then any basketball player you can think of. I can do anything physically and mentally perfectly. But with everything, there has to be a catch.
Changing is so……….so……euphoric. I love it. That feeling of losing control and not having to feel is so exhilarating. but with that comes the fact that knowing the animal takes over and I can’t control that. that’s why I’m happy girls don’t notice me. I don’t know how I would live with myself If I hurt someone…………………………..
When it happens ,it will happen fast. Stay on your toes and wait to hear from the three new angels next time………….
That feeling of absolute and complete freedom is great. the release of that anger and other stronger emotions is almost a soothing curse. it’s that freedom that misconstrues everything. When you get the chance to understand that feeling you understand the problem. Knowing that if I ever fall in love, I could lose that person to my OTHER half. I’m sorry I’m just thinking out loud.
I’m Ferro. I’m not that hard stud of a guy all of my friends are. I’m that sweet guy every girl looks for but never notices. And I’m happy they don’t. you see ,just like my friends ,I’m a werewolf. not like the feral movie versions, but they are pretty close. Yes we change under extreme emotion. Yes we are not normal by any standards.
first off ,we are huge in size, muscle wise. I’m 5’10” and 185 pounds. I look like I’m 21 years old ,when in reality I’m only 16.I can run just as fast as an Olympic sprinter. I can jump higher then any basketball player you can think of. I can do anything physically and mentally perfectly. But with everything, there has to be a catch.
Changing is so……….so……euphoric. I love it. That feeling of losing control and not having to feel is so exhilarating. but with that comes the fact that knowing the animal takes over and I can’t control that. that’s why I’m happy girls don’t notice me. I don’t know how I would live with myself If I hurt someone…………………………..
When it happens ,it will happen fast. Stay on your toes and wait to hear from the three new angels next time………….
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
I Tried To Write You,But The Eraser Wouldn't Let Me Say "I Love You"...........
Fallen:
The return of the lost souls on Earth is harder then these fallen angels make it out to be. The spiritual energies remind me of how strong I used to be. To bad I lost it all…….but I cant think like that right now. These people, spirits if you want to be technical, need my help. I’m like there guide to were they need to be. But at the same time ,I am their protector demons have the ability, like the angels, to take the souls and make them into minions of hell and we don’t need more demons, now more then ever. And I can honestly say ,Earthly manners are rubbing off on me. The other angels told me pretty soon only my thoughts will stay the same. My speech will change, my stature, and my clothing apparently. I just hope I still retain my memories. The powers were supposed to take those along with my original wings ,but somehow. I remember everything. They say its uncommon but not unheard of………..
The only thing I truly hope for is that I keep my emotions. Before I was so numb to everything. I didn’t even care when the werewolf was over me. It didn’t even phase me. I just hope that my feeling for Icarus stay the same. Along with my feelings for my “family”. I never want to lose that feeling of being wanted. They may not be related to me and they might. But that doesn’t even matter anymore. I just hope I retain those if I don’t remember anything else. But back to everything else. My new wings are better then I thought they would ever be. Because they’re wings from an ancient spell that let angels walk among the humans without them noticing. So they can easily pull tightly enough to my back, that I can wear any shirt I want and you wouldn’t be able to tell I had wings. And even though I’m used to carrying my old blade. The two true samurai blades that they have given me have worked great. It’s harder to hold two blades but I’ll get used to it.
And for those still trying to figure out were I’m at, let me give you a hint. I’m in the Western hemisphere.
O_o
Well its time to continue my quest, on how in Hell(not literally, hopefully) I’m going to save your planet and get back to heaven. If that’s what I want in the end………..
When it happen, it will happen fast. Stay on your toes and wait to hear from Ferro for the first time………..
The return of the lost souls on Earth is harder then these fallen angels make it out to be. The spiritual energies remind me of how strong I used to be. To bad I lost it all…….but I cant think like that right now. These people, spirits if you want to be technical, need my help. I’m like there guide to were they need to be. But at the same time ,I am their protector demons have the ability, like the angels, to take the souls and make them into minions of hell and we don’t need more demons, now more then ever. And I can honestly say ,Earthly manners are rubbing off on me. The other angels told me pretty soon only my thoughts will stay the same. My speech will change, my stature, and my clothing apparently. I just hope I still retain my memories. The powers were supposed to take those along with my original wings ,but somehow. I remember everything. They say its uncommon but not unheard of………..
The only thing I truly hope for is that I keep my emotions. Before I was so numb to everything. I didn’t even care when the werewolf was over me. It didn’t even phase me. I just hope that my feeling for Icarus stay the same. Along with my feelings for my “family”. I never want to lose that feeling of being wanted. They may not be related to me and they might. But that doesn’t even matter anymore. I just hope I retain those if I don’t remember anything else. But back to everything else. My new wings are better then I thought they would ever be. Because they’re wings from an ancient spell that let angels walk among the humans without them noticing. So they can easily pull tightly enough to my back, that I can wear any shirt I want and you wouldn’t be able to tell I had wings. And even though I’m used to carrying my old blade. The two true samurai blades that they have given me have worked great. It’s harder to hold two blades but I’ll get used to it.
And for those still trying to figure out were I’m at, let me give you a hint. I’m in the Western hemisphere.
O_o
Well its time to continue my quest, on how in Hell(not literally, hopefully) I’m going to save your planet and get back to heaven. If that’s what I want in the end………..
When it happen, it will happen fast. Stay on your toes and wait to hear from Ferro for the first time………..
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